Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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