Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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