I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
