coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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