I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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