i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
