Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
