can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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