So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
