She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
