ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
