some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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