I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
