he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we're making bets on your personal life
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
