Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
