Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
