im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
