i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
