normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
