Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Enjoy the penises
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
