mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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