We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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