Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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