He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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