In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers