The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...