He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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