It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"