my room smells like sperm. sweet.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
