i permit you to call me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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