So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
