Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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