Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
