what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
