Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize