he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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