You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
