Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
how drunk are you?
Several
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize