End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
