She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
