She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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