Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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