weddingsv make me drug and hornr
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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