I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have fence marks all over my body
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
