I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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