so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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