Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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