i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
