i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
