While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize