I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
