i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
