I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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