My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
