he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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