Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
