they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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