I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize