Apparently you make a good broom.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
