Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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