she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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