By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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