let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
