We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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