Your mouth is God's brothel.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
